Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if only i could text you this smell
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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