I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
