Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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