it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
