she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She needs sedatives and a leash
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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