Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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