you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
