captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
