It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
