I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
