Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
