i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
