So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
