i don't plan on having that self control this summer
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
