Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
