why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
