Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
