I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
