If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
