connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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