I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
