I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
