i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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