3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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