I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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