Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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