Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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