apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
