Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
