it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
