you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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