no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
