WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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