he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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