When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
