You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
