omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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