You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
where am i from again
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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