miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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