It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
