I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The Olympian is in my bed
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
