So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
