Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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