who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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