If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
