I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
