I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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