everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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