Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
