Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
