he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
worst night to have a conscience
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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